Embarrassing Illness!

As I may have mentioned once or twice (or several times) before I am a bit of an emotional fish. A fact that was very much highlighted today in work much to my utmost embarrassment!!!
When dealing with a fairly difficult customer on the phone today I ended up unable to speak because I was starting to cry!! Now, the customer on the phone was not really giving out to me or anything, we had a bit of a disagreement but nothing that I wouldn't usually be able to handle but for some reason it left me a blubbering mess today!!!!
I got off the phone and Alan in the office with me asked what he said and I had to turn my back and take several deep breaths before I could even speak. I felt like such a fool, there was nothing wrong with me just so emotional and tired from the last couple of weeks with Eoin and the boys were up half the night between one thing and another so all I needed was a trigger.
Oh the joys of it!!!!

My prerogative!

Men just don't get it!

Now, don't get me wrong, they love their children very much and hate to see them upset but they don't understand.
They don't understand when you drop your toddler off at creche and he clings to you screaming, the pain you get in your chest that makes it difficult to breath. The constant worry headache you suffer because you can't think of anything else. The tears that come unbidden when someone asks how you are (or pass the sugar or anything for that matter!).

In case you haven't guessed, Eoin just started in creche! He is not taking to it too well at the moment but it is only week one. I think what upsets me the most - and boy am I upset, I am getting bleary eyed just writing this - is that he is usually such a happy smiley child that is full of cheer and he has spent most of his time in creche crying or moaning. I hate that they can't see what he is really like and that he can't be his usual happy self. I'm sure after another week he will have accepted the situation and hopefully he will come to enjoy it and then they will all see the real Eoin.

For now, though, I am trying to overcompensate when he is at home and give him as many cuddles as I possibly can and while he is clingy to me I need it as much as he does. I need the reassurance that he still loves me even though I abandon him to strangers in the morning.

Irrational? Definitely, but I'm a woman, that's my prerogative!!!

Thumbs up

This was going to be all sad and mopy and then I remembered something I meant to share with you so here it is...
Out walking with Conor and Eoin the other day when Conor puts his arm up and gives a big thumbs up to the sky. Confused I was (as you can imagine) so I asked him who he was giving thumbs up to and his reply?

"To the birds mum, they just poohed on the big dinosaur!"

Of course they did!

Conor's Room

It took me longer than I was expecting but I think I was afraid to start painting the mural until I took that first brush stroke! Delighted with the finished product and Conor is thrilled which is the main thing!!

School blues

This morning was the worst morning yet! When I was bringing Conor to school he seemed a bit clingy and he stayed holding my hand while they waited in their line. I walked up to the door with him but he didn't want to let go so I walked in with him and helped him get his coat off and lunch box out of his bag. He was so afraid and reserved and stood back out of they way, so unlike the other kids who were all barging past one another. I know he is a softie which I love cos I get so many cuddles and he has a lovely gentle nature but he is going to need to toughen up to get anywhere in school. I was very close to tears seeing him join the other children waiting to go into their classroom, a head in height above all the others but probably one of the softest of the lot of them!! I hated having to rush off to work after that, I mean, I know he would be fine once he gets in there and all but I wish I could be there to pick him up to make sure he was ok.
Days like this make me wish I could be there for him all the time!
I was so upset I had to put the dixie chicks on full blast to snap me out of it in the car on the way to work. Am still a bit emotional now which wasn't helped by me thinking about the lads in Australia and how much I miss them. It must be birthday blues delayed! Whatever it is lets hope no one says anything to upset me today cos they will be in for a chock when I start bawling crying!!!!

29 Again!

Ok, well today is my 31st birthday and I have had a lovely day! As you may have noticed I tend to be a bit on the emotional side and have a tendency to cry on birthdays but not this year!!
I decided not to go out for a meal but instead last night we took a visit to Chez Mac's which turned out to be wonderful, we had deep fried brie to start, char grilled Fillet steak for main and apple and toffee cake for dessert, a lovely bottle of wine and it all came in under €35. A bit of a difference from our last meal out which came to about €120!! We both thoroughly enjoyed the night and there was no rushing around getting the boys ready or stressing about whether they were ok, we just waited till they were asleep to get started and were sitting down eating out starter by twenty to nine.
Conor has had 3 weeks in Big School now and is settling in well. He does have a little moan in the mornings about not wanting to go to school but once he gets there he is fine. I think he is enjoying it but it is hard to know as he doesn't tell us much. When I asked him the other day to tell me what he did in school he replied "Can I just tell you some cos it's really long?"
Eoin has decided he likes to wake at about 6am now which is just peachy!!! How well he decides that when the mornings are darker and the weather colder!! I think I am just going to have to adjust to it and start getting up earlier because he is having none of going back to sleep for a while! Which is why I am about to go to bed and try get a good night sleep!

Back to reality

Well we have had a lovely couple of weeks off and been able to spend some quality time with the boys. The time hasn't gone too quickly which is good because I often find when you are off and enjoying yourself the time flies! It has been so nice to be here for the boys but I think Eoin will have some serious issues with me leaving him in the morning!! He has become very clingy over these last couple of weeks and he was even worse after they stayed in my mums when we went to a wedding last Thursday.
This time off does make me sad that I have to work all the time - even though it is only part time. It would be lovely to be here for them all the time and now we are looking into sending Eoin to a creche a couple of days a week which I hate the thought of and would much prefer him to be able to stay at home with me until he is ready for playschool but unfortunately it is not to be at the moment. Who know maybe it will happen!
Now that we have started into the colder weather (not that it really got any warmer through the summer) the worry had set in for Conor and his chest and tonsils and Eoin with his Ears. I was saying to Lee that if I was to take parental leave I would take it in the winter so I would be off when the boys are sick - touch wood we wont have too many infections this winter.

His First Day!!!!

Well the day has finally arrived when Conor starts "Big School" and all in all I have to say it went well. Amazingly I didn't shed any tears - although there was one moment of weakess when my maternal instinct kicked in while talking to his teacher(OMG he has a teacher!) when I could feel myself welling up and I had to stop myself but apart from that I held my composure well. Conor was nonplussed by it all and I think he was wondering why I was hanging around!! When we collected him he said he liked it there so that seems to be positive. I really hope he does enjoy it and is one of those kids that runs in to school every morning and hardly looks back - I can only hope.

Anyway here he is in his uniform...

Yes that is Eoin beside him and yes he is only 17 months!

I know it is one of those days that can be very hard for parents and children but some mothers just need to let go!!!!! There was one woman who did not want to go and not because her child was upset but because she was upset!

Tired now, have had half a bottle of prosecco - my new favourite, and I am just about ready for bed. I don't know about Conor but I feel drained from the day!

School and going out

Wow, I hadn't realised how long it has been since I blogged! Time has really flown! Things have been busy in the Mac house as Conor starts "Big School" tomorrow!
Now, I know I am an emotional person at the best of times so I am not expecting to be able to keep myself from crying tomorrow but today I am so anxious and worried about how he will get on. Is he really ready? Will he make new friends? Will he get upset? etc etc. I'm sure it is normal for mothers to feel like this, but I just find it so hard to concentrate today! I think Conor is only pretend excited cos he told me this morning he didn't want to go. Probably a side effect of Lee and I having been off all week so lots of spending time together and playing and I'm sure he will miss it next week (or at least I hope so or we are doing something wrong!).
I still have to label and cover his books today so I better get organised soon.
What have we been up to...
Well, we have done up Conor's room Transformers style. He decided that is what he wanted so we got wall stickers and bedding and curtains(which still have to be lined and put up!) My sister painted a flame on one wall like the flames on Optimus prime and her and I have drawn a big rig on aother wall which I still have to paint but it is a work in progress (probably eternally).
We tried to go out last night but kids know when you want to go anywhere, and we were about ten yards from the pub when my sister (the babysitter) rang to say Eoin had just got sick all over himself and the cot so we promptly turned around and headed back home. So we sat on the couch and had a drink and I was practically asleep by 11 o'clock! Some mad night we had!!!

Where to begin?

Ok, well, I have started this post about ten times in my head, each one different but all amounting to the same thing. I haven't blogged in yonks(technical term!) and feel bad for not keeping you up to date on what has been going on in Rambling Joey's world.

So I guess I am apologising? Maybe?

I am warning you though, this one is going to be very random and will jump as my train of thought does so be prepared...

So where to start...... things have been fairly busy lately, we had the event of the century a couple of weeks ago when Conor turned 4!!! It felt like it was never going to happen and has been all he has talked about for a good 2 months at least!!! The best part of it was on the morning of his birthday when we gave him his present and he is standing in the kitchen, he suddenly realised and just exclaimed "I'm Four!!". Since then we have had several reasoning's for his ability to do things which of course is because he is now four and he wouldn't have been able to do that when he was three. (All very serious of course)

I have a new Nephew (yes another boy in the mac clan!) Aaron, who is absolutely gorgeous and I am very honoured to be his Godmother. He was christened last week and I think he thoroughly enjoyed the occasion - at least I know I did, and his parents, and his uncles and aunties etc etc. There may have been a few sore heads the following day though! Not one of my better ideas was organising Conor's birthday party for the day after a night out but I put on my game face and kept smiling till everyone was gone home and the boys were in bed when I unceremoniously collapsed on the couch until Lee nudged me to stop snoring and go to bed!!!

Eoin (aka nut case) has taken to walking (finally) like a fish to water. So much so that he is running already and has only been up on his feet 4 weeks. He is quite stealthy too for a toddler, he sneaks up behind me causing many a panicked moment as I nearly knock him down when I move or go to turn. Or I just jump when he puts his grubby hand on my leg. I think I will develop a removable leg patch for my pants, no matter what Eoin had to eat, if he is on the move when eating, it ends up on my pants. He just can't seem to resist grabbing me mid thigh with sticky/chocolaty/wet/milky/banana/yoghurty hands!!! Anyway, as I was saying, I think I should get him a bell or something so I know he is coming.

I am still losing weight!! So far (since I got back to pre-Eoin pregnancy weight) I have lost 21lbs (sounds so much more impressive than a stone and a half!) and still working on it. Lee is also doing fantastic and has lost the guts of 2 stone in the same period of time. It is very gradual which is best I think because our eating habits are changing making it easier to maintain the weight loss once we reach our goals - I sound like an ad for some diet program!!

I think we are looking good though!

It is not rocket science either, the main thing we have done which was huge for us was to cut out bread from our diets which for the first week or two left us wondering what on earth we were going to eat instead but once we adjusted it got easier. I still crave bread from time to time but I don't deny myself it if I do really crave it I will just be more careful with the other choices I make that day. I find the every day choices is what makes a difference, not the bigger things. I am cooking healthier too using spray oil instead of olive oil and making sure I use lean meat and bulking up on veg. Our staple had become pasta with a tomato and vegetable sauce I make which we both love anyway but before we might have had some garlic bread with it and now we just have the pasta cutting out quite a few calories not to mention the bloated feeling you get from eating white bread!

Our summer this year is nearly as good as last years which makes me feel quite happy because last year when I was on maternity leave we had possibly the worst summer ever with non stop rain and wind and it is the same this summer but if it had been really nice all summer I would be so depressed about how unlucky I had been.

Apologies if a lot of this doesn't make much sense it does in my head but not sure how well it translates!

Speaking of translating, when we were in Portugal I became a bit addicted to their Chicken Piri-Piri, which if you have ever tried will know it is flame grilled or barbecued chicken with this piri piri sauce or oil brushed over it after cooking. Really tasty really spicy (surprise surprise!) and I bought a bunch of bottles of the sauce to bring home thinking this was great I will be able to give it a go myself and enjoy it all over again but unfortunately it was not to be. The sauce is really hot straight out of the bottle if you dip something into it or that but when I put it on chicken after cooking it just loses the heat somehow. I know you can get different brands of piri piri marinades and sauces here so I might try a few of those to see if any of them can get it right but I was so disappointed at how it just didn't translate!

I am a bit apprehensive about Conor starting school in September, I know he is well able but I just can't believe I am at that stage already! I was looking at school uniforms the other day!!!! He even has a booklist. I think I could do with a personal organiser but one I could talk into instead of type because if I have time to type it in I have time to remember to do something!!! Then again my biggest problem at the moment is time organisation. I remember most things but at the wrong time so when I should be remembering it I don't and then berate myself later when I remember it again and realise I never did something - like still not send the parcel for Australia which I have had sitting there since February!!! That is procrastination at it's finest!!! On the up side I just keep adding in the cards for the next birthday or event that is happening over there and eventually they will get it all in one big bundle (maybe). Worst case scenario I will bring it with me when we go to see them in the US next year! but that really would be the worst case scenario, I mean, how bad an auntie am I!??!! That's it I have shamed myself into it that is being posted this week come hell or high water!!!

Conor is going to Summer camp starting tomorrow for the rest of the Summer - which basically means he will be going to the playschool he usually goes to but for 5 days instead of 3 and will just be playing instead of ...well ... um ... playing! We have to get him all excited about it though and make him see it not as school but as camp!!! There is a very big difference ........... really!!! In contradiction to my earlier statement I do hope the weather improved because there is only so much "fun" that can be had when stuck indoors with a bunch of 4-11 year olds!!

The playschool year finished up the day after Conor's birthday and they had a "graduation" ceremony in the school so all the parents were invited along. The kids were hilarious, none of them knew what was going on but had practiced what they were supposed to do with the girls there so there was a mixture of some stopping to pose for cameras en route to collect their certificate and others who were too shy to go up in front of every one. After their presentation all the kids got up and sang some songs and I was fine until they started to sing the goodbye song from Bear in the big blue house when I found myself welling up a bit at the thought of them moving on to "Big school". If I was like that in playschool imagine what I am going to be like when he is starting school properly in September!! Aaahh!!

School

My computer has been acting up a bit lately so every time I sit down to try write a post it crashes and I spend the next hour trying to figuire out what caused the problem and never get around to posting! So, apologies for the lack of anything here!

Conor and I went to the primary school he will be going to in September today fo a bit of an induction. He got to go around all the classrooms and see where he might be sitting etc. It's all a bit mad to think he will be starting school in September!!!

I have just been kicked off the computer so Conor can play Ben 10 games!!!!!!

Still number one!

I was getting worried, Conor has had an imaginary girlfriend for a while now and does comment on how prettysome girls are and all that but he told me the other day that when he is big he is going to marry me!! Phew! I am still number one in his books!

Long break

Well, we went on our first Family holiday last week to Portugal and I was not too sure how it would go but thankfully it all went ok in the end. There were a couple of things that put us off in the beginning but once we got over that we all got on with enjoying it.

First off it rained for 3 days when we got there but we didn't let that get us down too much and went shopping but unfortunately there is not one decent toy shop to be found in portugal and our promise to Conor to buy him a ben 10 toy became quite impossible to fulfill so we pawned him off with crap toys until we got home and he got the toy he wanted.

Conor also had bad hay fever which we hadn't thought was a problem until now but then we haven't had a decent summer in 3 years so how would we know?! His tonsils swelled up and I thought the poor kid was going to get tonsilitis on his holidays!

Lee had some issues with being with us all 24/7 and him and Conor had quite a few clashes - Conor of course being very moany with not feeling too good didn't help things.

Also, we found the resort a bit disapointing as Lee's brother had been there before and had told us about the kids play areas and we were looking forward to spending time playing in the water around there but they were doing a lot of work in that part of the hotel and these areas were not in use. Now, the weather like I said wasn't great the first few days but it really got nice in the second half of the week and we did get to sit by the pool on a few occassions - all be it never for very long and definitely not for swimming (the pool wasn't heated), but the kiddies pool was nice enough.

It was definitely a learning curve and while at the start of the week with the bad weather and Conor not feeling well we were both swearing we would never go on holidays again, by the end of it I think we changed our minds and would definitely consider going back.

Eoin was an absolute star the whole time, he was great on the flight, slept pretty good the whole time we were away with no teething problems and loved being in shorts and barefoot. He was trying to pull off his jumper when I put it on him yesterday - I think he likes short sleeves, hopefully we will get some nice weather so he will get more use out of his t-shirts and shorts.

Both of them still white (as am I mostly) but I would hate for them to get sun burnt so slapped on the suncream constantly!

Definitely on e of the highlights was our trip to Zoomarine, a water theme park with a dolphin show and aquarium. The dolphins were absolutely amazing!

So, all in all a good time was had (eventually) by all. I think we will go again now that have done it once we are a lot wiser and would hopefully be able to make it easier on ourselves the next time.

Happy Birthday Eoin!!!!

Well my baby is 1 year old today! It has been a wonderful and very fast year. This day last year I was staring down in wonder at the beautiful new born baby I had just delivered into this world and today I am staring down in bewilderment at the nutcase that is the centre of our worlds (as is his brother). I am so happy that we have him in our lives, he is such a happy bundle of joy that he improves all of our lives just by being there. It hasn't all been easy, he suffered from colic early on which was tough on him and us, I felt so helpless and my heart broke for him every evening when he would get a bout of it. After that things were pretty good, just the odd cold or cough and a couple of chest infections over the winter but he kept smiling through it all. His teeth have caused him quite a lot of pain but he is still easily distracted and never is a smile or giggle far away.

He has learned a lot in his first year and true to his rogueish character delights in finding ways to get up to mischief. His favourite past time these last few days is opening drawers and presses and pulling everything out! Drawer locks are being purchased this weekend!!! I have finally got him to start giving me kisses which he finds hilarious and leans in with a big open mouth.

All in all I have to say I have thoroughly enjoyed Eoin's first year and I truly hope he has enjoyed it too!!

Black and white photos

I don't want this to turn into a total photo blog, but energy levels are running low lately and I am finding it difficult to save some for blogging. I got kind of artistic (in my opinion anyway!) with some photos the other day..

It's not that things have been all that busy really just the regular day to day non stop you get with 2 small kids. I think I have finally realised that while part time work is great the way I am working it is not the most ideal situation. I think I would love if I could work 3 full days instead of every day until 2pm. At least that way I might not spend all day every day running around like a blue arse fly!

St Patricks Day

We celebrated St Patricks Day in our usual fashion and went to watch the local parade. Conor and Eoin enjoyed it until Eoin decided it was time for bottle and we had to head indoors. Here are a few pictures of the boys enjoying the day...

Watching the "parade"

Conor and St.Patrick

Eoin making a dive for Lee's pint!

Spaghetti

Sorry I haven't posted in so long, have been a bit tired and busy lately so here are a few pictures to hopefully apease you until I get a chance to post properly.

His favourite is spaghetti bolognaise!!

Country life...

We went out for a few drinks last night while my Dad graciously babysat (thanks Dad!). We had a lovely night, few games of pool (I won but I'm not bragging or anything!) and a few drinks in our local - which of course isn't really local but it is the pub we tend to end up in when we just want to go for a couple, also a good place to watch the rugby.
It would not be the liveliest spot in town and when we arrived at 9pm there were only 2 others in the bar. After our games of pool we sat up at the bar, now, it was still very quiet only about 8-10 people, when the barman walked out the front door leaving the till wide open and was gone for about 5 mins. This could really only happen in Ireland!!! Then there were the 3 ladies that came in and sat down chatting before even ordering a drink and stayed sitting there until the barman went over to get them their drinks. Now while table service is common in a lot of places it would not be a regular occurance in a small town like this. The barman was gas, he said they would just sit there all night gabbing if he hadn't gone over!
We spent the night just laughing in disbelief at the small town lifestyle that we love so much!

Finally made it!

It's official! I finaly reached my 1 Stone weight loss! It has taken a good bit longer than I had initially hoped with those last couple of pounds hanging on for weeks but I have finally reached it! I am delighted but afraid to weigh myself again in case the scales made a mistake!! It's really nice to hear people complimenting me on my weight loss and everyone seems to notice but all I kept thinking was I haven't lost any weight in weeks!

Had Salsa again last night, it's getting complicated now! Turns and all sorts! No friends forthcoming yet though!

Been trying to get a picture of Eoin's two teeth to put up but he keeps moving so they are all coming out blurry. Here is the best of what I have got until I can get a better shot!

Photo post at last!

Salsa

I had my second class of Salsa Slims tonight which I enjoyed although I still hardly broke a sweat. The instructor showed us the step she is going to teach us next week though and it looks quite energetic!!
The class goes well until there is a water break when my billy no mateness stands out like a sore thumb!!! I stand there praying for someone to talk to me all the while trying to look totally blazé about it all and that I am there alone and that doesn't bother me!!! My neediness to be liked and accepted constantly fighting with my need to not look needy. It is hard work!!!!
I did however manage to talk to someone at the end so who knows at the end of the 10weeks I might even have swapped names with someone!!!
What is mad is how many people in the class I have never seen before who obviously live in the town. You get used to the idea you live in a small town but as it expands and is used more and more as a suburb of Waterford city there are a lot of people living here that didn't grow up here or isn't a friend of a friend of a friend.

Fruit and chocolate cake

Listening to, reading and watching all of the lose weight programmes that are going on right now I realise I am afraid to do what a lot of them suggest and write down what I am actually eating every day and analysing it. I know it is the every day small decisions that make a difference but I find I have difficulty making those decisions. Some days I don't have to make those decisions because I am too busy between one thing and another but the days when I am bored or hanging around I tend to eat more just for something to do. I need to keep a constant supply of low fat (appetising) snacks that I can have and not worry about the calories!! Apart from fruit I find that quest quite difficult! While I like fruit it can get bit boring and also expensive in a country that sees more rain than sun. I need inspiration to stop me eating crap!!!

And then I go and bake a chocolate cake - HA! Conor helped!

Salsa dancing!

The battle of the bulge has been a bit stuck in no mans land lately but I had my first Salsa Slims class last night so hopefully that will get things moving again. It was good fun even if I was a bit of a billy no mates but I signed up for it to help me get in shape, not to socialise! The weather is starting to improve a bit and the evenings are getting a little bit brighter so I am also hoping to get out and about a bit more. Now that the boys are feeling well again we should be able to get out walking in the afternoons too and get Conor out on his bike.
Eoin is finally getting back to sleeping through the night now that he is over all his troubles. At nearly 10months he has yet to attempt to crawl and seems to have no interest in starting either! He sits up and goes around in circles on his bum. He loves to try walk with my support but I find it a bit back-breaking so it doesn't last too long. Mind you, I am not in too much of a hurry to get him moving because I just know he will be into everything!!!
So the diet starts Monday again with a vengence cos we are going out for a meal tomorrow night so all diet plans are off until after that!

More pyjama update...

I know I am not alone in thinking it is not right to go out in the middle of the day in your pyjamas and I don't mean to harp on about it but seriously, another girl arrived into where I work today to collect her car IN HER PYJAMAS!!!!
I think we should start a petition to ban pyjama wearing outdoors. Or, maybe it was decided that it is the new fashion and I just missed the memo!

I spoke too soon!!!!

I knew I should have said nothing!! Both the boys have been sick this week, Conor has tonsilitis and Eoin has bronciolitis (no idea if either of them is spelt properly!). Conor is well on the mend now but poor Eoin is having a hard time with it. The worst is the cough that is making him sick, he is finding it very hard to settle and is pretty much glued to my hip during the day but hopefully we are getting to a point where he might be getting over it (fingers crossed!!)
One of these days I will be able to blog without it involving one of us being sick!!!

I'm baaaaackk!!!!!

I'm back on form and the camera is out again!!!

Health update

I dare not speak too soon but I think we are all finally getting over our sicknesses!!!! After the boys got over theirs Lee and I both got doses and we are only now starting to feel normal again. The two boys are in great form and back to their usual mischievous selves. Eoin is getting used to his 2 new teeth and using them to test the chewability of anything he can get his hands on! (see below) Conor, meanwhile is still complaining about going to play school and I have finally run out of bribes and incentives!

As you can imagine with all this sickness comes a very boring life and I have been too worn out to even think about things to blog about. I'm sure there are a whole lot of things that have annoyed me over the past few weeks but my brain is still a bit mushy after all the medication I have been on so I can't think of anything to write! (Well that was a bit of a waste of webspace and energy!!!)

Better use of space and energy is some pictures of the boys enjoying some of their Christmas presents...

Will write more when the mush subsides!