There are days (such as today) where I wonder why I bother to try be cheery even with my sleep deprivation - Eoin was winning the last couple of nights! I have always tried to be cheerful and happy in work no matter what is going on outside my work life, no matter how little sleep I get or how annoyed I got with Conor for delaying when I am trying to get us all out the door in the morning or how annoyed I get at all the stupid drivers in the morning. I have always prided myself in how I can separate my work and home life but today I wonder why. It's not like the guys here ever separate work and home they always seem to be grumpy if something is bothering them and some of them are just always grumpy in the mornings. I feel like telling them try being up half the night with a crying baby several nights in a row and then tell me what tired is!!!!! So this morning I tried to be grumpy but didn't really have time and went back to my normal self but they probably wouldn't be able to deal with me in bad form and it would start a chain reaction of bad moods.
I thought I was looking forward to going back to work and have some decent adult conversation during the day but I had forgotten that the only conversations I have in work are about cars or car related issues. Now, I know my cars and would usually be able to hold my corner in these discussions but I realised this morning that I just DONT CARE!!!!! This is the problem that comes with working with only men. There is no one to have a proper chat to about whatever, be it clothes or kids or telly (not that I see a lot of that these days!). Yes, I know I talk about my kids a lot when I am with other people but they are the thing I am most proud of in life and are what keep me going every day.
Today though I feel totally and utterly frazzled and zapped of energy. As you know I am crazy about my kids but there are days when I really feel I need a break. I have the whole guilt thing though and hate leaving them with anyone (even Lee) for very long. I don't want to leave them with my Mum any more than she already has them because I don't think that is fair so even though it is self inflicted I can't get away from them.
I'm sure this is just a rant for today and tomorrow I will be fine again (but that wouldn't make for very good reading!) and I will feel bad for having this rant in the first place.
On other things Eoin is winning the last couple of nights as mentioned already. I think I got up about 10 times the night before last but only about 5 or six last night - I kind of lose track after about the fourth time it all just blurs into one. At one point Lee got up and I started to dose and heard Eoin, got up walked in to his room to find Lee still in there, I was totally disorientated I thought he was back in bed and all! We slept in then this morning and if Eoin hadn't woken we would probably still be in the bed now.
On a lighter note, Conor want trick or treating last night for the first time and he had an absolute ball!!! He went with 2 of his cousins and they were hilarious, running from house to house, Conor shoving his pumpkin bag in the door for fear that someone would miss that he was there. His pirate costume was grand, all he really wanted on it was the eye patch and the gun! He had a head scarf and a chopped up t- shirt of Lee's that I had put zig zagged ends on and a big belt over his shoulder and he thought he was the main man! Everyone knew what he was though so he was delighted, he kept shooting people when they opened the door to them. We all thoroughtly enjoyed the evening and the getting of the treats was much better than actually eating the treats but there is enough there to keep him going for about a month!!! Lots of people had the front of their house decorated for the occassion and quite a few of them dressed up to greet the kids. It was great fun!! Lee thought I going overboard with the amount of sweets I got in but like last year we were cleared out of all sweets by the end of the evening.
I am already feeling better after thinking about yesterday evening but still tired, a bit grunpy and a bit emotional - probably a side effect of the tiredness. It will all look better in the morning!
I thought I was looking forward to going back to work and have some decent adult conversation during the day but I had forgotten that the only conversations I have in work are about cars or car related issues. Now, I know my cars and would usually be able to hold my corner in these discussions but I realised this morning that I just DONT CARE!!!!! This is the problem that comes with working with only men. There is no one to have a proper chat to about whatever, be it clothes or kids or telly (not that I see a lot of that these days!). Yes, I know I talk about my kids a lot when I am with other people but they are the thing I am most proud of in life and are what keep me going every day.
Today though I feel totally and utterly frazzled and zapped of energy. As you know I am crazy about my kids but there are days when I really feel I need a break. I have the whole guilt thing though and hate leaving them with anyone (even Lee) for very long. I don't want to leave them with my Mum any more than she already has them because I don't think that is fair so even though it is self inflicted I can't get away from them.
I'm sure this is just a rant for today and tomorrow I will be fine again (but that wouldn't make for very good reading!) and I will feel bad for having this rant in the first place.
On other things Eoin is winning the last couple of nights as mentioned already. I think I got up about 10 times the night before last but only about 5 or six last night - I kind of lose track after about the fourth time it all just blurs into one. At one point Lee got up and I started to dose and heard Eoin, got up walked in to his room to find Lee still in there, I was totally disorientated I thought he was back in bed and all! We slept in then this morning and if Eoin hadn't woken we would probably still be in the bed now.
On a lighter note, Conor want trick or treating last night for the first time and he had an absolute ball!!! He went with 2 of his cousins and they were hilarious, running from house to house, Conor shoving his pumpkin bag in the door for fear that someone would miss that he was there. His pirate costume was grand, all he really wanted on it was the eye patch and the gun! He had a head scarf and a chopped up t- shirt of Lee's that I had put zig zagged ends on and a big belt over his shoulder and he thought he was the main man! Everyone knew what he was though so he was delighted, he kept shooting people when they opened the door to them. We all thoroughtly enjoyed the evening and the getting of the treats was much better than actually eating the treats but there is enough there to keep him going for about a month!!! Lots of people had the front of their house decorated for the occassion and quite a few of them dressed up to greet the kids. It was great fun!! Lee thought I going overboard with the amount of sweets I got in but like last year we were cleared out of all sweets by the end of the evening.
I am already feeling better after thinking about yesterday evening but still tired, a bit grunpy and a bit emotional - probably a side effect of the tiredness. It will all look better in the morning!
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