As I may have mentioned once or twice (or several times) before I am a bit of an emotional fish. A fact that was very much highlighted today in work much to my utmost embarrassment!!!
When dealing with a fairly difficult customer on the phone today I ended up unable to speak because I was starting to cry!! Now, the customer on the phone was not really giving out to me or anything, we had a bit of a disagreement but nothing that I wouldn't usually be able to handle but for some reason it left me a blubbering mess today!!!!
I got off the phone and Alan in the office with me asked what he said and I had to turn my back and take several deep breaths before I could even speak. I felt like such a fool, there was nothing wrong with me just so emotional and tired from the last couple of weeks with Eoin and the boys were up half the night between one thing and another so all I needed was a trigger.
Oh the joys of it!!!!
Monday 24 November 2008
Thursday 20 November 2008
My prerogative!
Men just don't get it!
Now, don't get me wrong, they love their children very much and hate to see them upset but they don't understand.
They don't understand when you drop your toddler off at creche and he clings to you screaming, the pain you get in your chest that makes it difficult to breath. The constant worry headache you suffer because you can't think of anything else. The tears that come unbidden when someone asks how you are (or pass the sugar or anything for that matter!).
In case you haven't guessed, Eoin just started in creche! He is not taking to it too well at the moment but it is only week one. I think what upsets me the most - and boy am I upset, I am getting bleary eyed just writing this - is that he is usually such a happy smiley child that is full of cheer and he has spent most of his time in creche crying or moaning. I hate that they can't see what he is really like and that he can't be his usual happy self. I'm sure after another week he will have accepted the situation and hopefully he will come to enjoy it and then they will all see the real Eoin.
For now, though, I am trying to overcompensate when he is at home and give him as many cuddles as I possibly can and while he is clingy to me I need it as much as he does. I need the reassurance that he still loves me even though I abandon him to strangers in the morning.
Irrational? Definitely, but I'm a woman, that's my prerogative!!!
Now, don't get me wrong, they love their children very much and hate to see them upset but they don't understand.
They don't understand when you drop your toddler off at creche and he clings to you screaming, the pain you get in your chest that makes it difficult to breath. The constant worry headache you suffer because you can't think of anything else. The tears that come unbidden when someone asks how you are (or pass the sugar or anything for that matter!).
In case you haven't guessed, Eoin just started in creche! He is not taking to it too well at the moment but it is only week one. I think what upsets me the most - and boy am I upset, I am getting bleary eyed just writing this - is that he is usually such a happy smiley child that is full of cheer and he has spent most of his time in creche crying or moaning. I hate that they can't see what he is really like and that he can't be his usual happy self. I'm sure after another week he will have accepted the situation and hopefully he will come to enjoy it and then they will all see the real Eoin.
For now, though, I am trying to overcompensate when he is at home and give him as many cuddles as I possibly can and while he is clingy to me I need it as much as he does. I need the reassurance that he still loves me even though I abandon him to strangers in the morning.
Irrational? Definitely, but I'm a woman, that's my prerogative!!!
Monday 10 November 2008
Thumbs up
This was going to be all sad and mopy and then I remembered something I meant to share with you so here it is...
Out walking with Conor and Eoin the other day when Conor puts his arm up and gives a big thumbs up to the sky. Confused I was (as you can imagine) so I asked him who he was giving thumbs up to and his reply?
"To the birds mum, they just poohed on the big dinosaur!"
Of course they did!
Out walking with Conor and Eoin the other day when Conor puts his arm up and gives a big thumbs up to the sky. Confused I was (as you can imagine) so I asked him who he was giving thumbs up to and his reply?
"To the birds mum, they just poohed on the big dinosaur!"
Of course they did!
Tuesday 30 September 2008
Conor's Room
It took me longer than I was expecting but I think I was afraid to start painting the mural until I took that first brush stroke! Delighted with the finished product and Conor is thrilled which is the main thing!!
Wednesday 24 September 2008
School blues
This morning was the worst morning yet! When I was bringing Conor to school he seemed a bit clingy and he stayed holding my hand while they waited in their line. I walked up to the door with him but he didn't want to let go so I walked in with him and helped him get his coat off and lunch box out of his bag. He was so afraid and reserved and stood back out of they way, so unlike the other kids who were all barging past one another. I know he is a softie which I love cos I get so many cuddles and he has a lovely gentle nature but he is going to need to toughen up to get anywhere in school. I was very close to tears seeing him join the other children waiting to go into their classroom, a head in height above all the others but probably one of the softest of the lot of them!! I hated having to rush off to work after that, I mean, I know he would be fine once he gets in there and all but I wish I could be there to pick him up to make sure he was ok.
Days like this make me wish I could be there for him all the time!
I was so upset I had to put the dixie chicks on full blast to snap me out of it in the car on the way to work. Am still a bit emotional now which wasn't helped by me thinking about the lads in Australia and how much I miss them. It must be birthday blues delayed! Whatever it is lets hope no one says anything to upset me today cos they will be in for a chock when I start bawling crying!!!!
Days like this make me wish I could be there for him all the time!
I was so upset I had to put the dixie chicks on full blast to snap me out of it in the car on the way to work. Am still a bit emotional now which wasn't helped by me thinking about the lads in Australia and how much I miss them. It must be birthday blues delayed! Whatever it is lets hope no one says anything to upset me today cos they will be in for a chock when I start bawling crying!!!!
Sunday 21 September 2008
29 Again!
Ok, well today is my 31st birthday and I have had a lovely day! As you may have noticed I tend to be a bit on the emotional side and have a tendency to cry on birthdays but not this year!!
I decided not to go out for a meal but instead last night we took a visit to Chez Mac's which turned out to be wonderful, we had deep fried brie to start, char grilled Fillet steak for main and apple and toffee cake for dessert, a lovely bottle of wine and it all came in under €35. A bit of a difference from our last meal out which came to about €120!! We both thoroughly enjoyed the night and there was no rushing around getting the boys ready or stressing about whether they were ok, we just waited till they were asleep to get started and were sitting down eating out starter by twenty to nine.
Conor has had 3 weeks in Big School now and is settling in well. He does have a little moan in the mornings about not wanting to go to school but once he gets there he is fine. I think he is enjoying it but it is hard to know as he doesn't tell us much. When I asked him the other day to tell me what he did in school he replied "Can I just tell you some cos it's really long?"
Eoin has decided he likes to wake at about 6am now which is just peachy!!! How well he decides that when the mornings are darker and the weather colder!! I think I am just going to have to adjust to it and start getting up earlier because he is having none of going back to sleep for a while! Which is why I am about to go to bed and try get a good night sleep!
I decided not to go out for a meal but instead last night we took a visit to Chez Mac's which turned out to be wonderful, we had deep fried brie to start, char grilled Fillet steak for main and apple and toffee cake for dessert, a lovely bottle of wine and it all came in under €35. A bit of a difference from our last meal out which came to about €120!! We both thoroughly enjoyed the night and there was no rushing around getting the boys ready or stressing about whether they were ok, we just waited till they were asleep to get started and were sitting down eating out starter by twenty to nine.
Conor has had 3 weeks in Big School now and is settling in well. He does have a little moan in the mornings about not wanting to go to school but once he gets there he is fine. I think he is enjoying it but it is hard to know as he doesn't tell us much. When I asked him the other day to tell me what he did in school he replied "Can I just tell you some cos it's really long?"
Eoin has decided he likes to wake at about 6am now which is just peachy!!! How well he decides that when the mornings are darker and the weather colder!! I think I am just going to have to adjust to it and start getting up earlier because he is having none of going back to sleep for a while! Which is why I am about to go to bed and try get a good night sleep!
Sunday 7 September 2008
Back to reality
Well we have had a lovely couple of weeks off and been able to spend some quality time with the boys. The time hasn't gone too quickly which is good because I often find when you are off and enjoying yourself the time flies! It has been so nice to be here for the boys but I think Eoin will have some serious issues with me leaving him in the morning!! He has become very clingy over these last couple of weeks and he was even worse after they stayed in my mums when we went to a wedding last Thursday.
This time off does make me sad that I have to work all the time - even though it is only part time. It would be lovely to be here for them all the time and now we are looking into sending Eoin to a creche a couple of days a week which I hate the thought of and would much prefer him to be able to stay at home with me until he is ready for playschool but unfortunately it is not to be at the moment. Who know maybe it will happen!
Now that we have started into the colder weather (not that it really got any warmer through the summer) the worry had set in for Conor and his chest and tonsils and Eoin with his Ears. I was saying to Lee that if I was to take parental leave I would take it in the winter so I would be off when the boys are sick - touch wood we wont have too many infections this winter.
This time off does make me sad that I have to work all the time - even though it is only part time. It would be lovely to be here for them all the time and now we are looking into sending Eoin to a creche a couple of days a week which I hate the thought of and would much prefer him to be able to stay at home with me until he is ready for playschool but unfortunately it is not to be at the moment. Who know maybe it will happen!
Now that we have started into the colder weather (not that it really got any warmer through the summer) the worry had set in for Conor and his chest and tonsils and Eoin with his Ears. I was saying to Lee that if I was to take parental leave I would take it in the winter so I would be off when the boys are sick - touch wood we wont have too many infections this winter.
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